Q. What is Takeover?
A. Takeover is the new novel by Richard Goffman, author of Heartless Cruelty and Laid So Low.
Q. You mean, it’s a new book about Mr. Bachman, the heroic English teacher of the Jersey shore created by novelist Richard Goffman?
A. No, it is NOT the highly anticipated third book in the Mr. Bachman series.
Q. Is it the first book in a new series?
A. No. Well, probably not. Goffman’s not positive yet. Let’s just say there are no plans to write another book in the Takeover series. I mean, there is no series.
Q. Are you sure?
Q. Will there EVER be a third book in the Mr. Bachman series?
A. Yes. Definitely.
Q. Great. When is that one coming out? What’s it gonna be called?
A. I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me everything.
Q. Well, then, if Takeover isn’t a murder mystery about an intrepid high school teacher who takes risks, what IS it?
A. Takeover is a hilarious dark satire about what happens when one company takes over another, and human lives are caught in the middle.
Q. You said “hilarious.” So, it’s a comedy?
A. That’s right.
Q. So, how many murders are in it?
A. None! There are NO murders in Takeover.
A. It’s NOT a mystery or a thriller. I just told you, it’s a comedy. Are you even paying attention?
Q. So what happens?
A. Lots of things happen! What kind of stupid question is that?
Q. Gee, you’re getting awfully testy.
A. You’re right. I apologize.
A. Right, ‘what happens?’ Lots of things happen. First this one company buys out the other company. Then some of the people get fired, and then more people get fired…
Q. That happens first? Not at the end?
Q. Doesn’t that take all the excitement out of the book if you know at the beginning what’s going to happen?
A. But it’s HOW it happens, and WHY it happens. That’s the interesting part. It’s all about what happens to people who work together when their lives are torn apart by massive change.
Q. Wow. Sounds violent.
A. Actually, there is some violence in it.
Q. That’s a weird kind of comedy. Does it have sexy scenes, too?
A. Actually, yes.
A. Yes! What reason would I have to lie?
Q. You’re getting testy again.
A. Sorry. I’m just…. Never mind. Sorry.
Q. How is there sex in a workplace comedy?
A. Very quietly.
Q. Huh? Oh I get it. That was pretty funny.
A. Thank you. See where this is going?
Q. Okay, but what else happens?
A. What else? Other than, sex, violence, people losing their jobs, people fighting to survive in the heartless, cynical, glitzy world of entertainment? Isn’t that enough?
Q. Okay, I guess that’s enough.
A. Hahaha! I was kidding. There’s LOTS more! There’s a near-miss airplane disaster, the invention of an entire industry, a flying toupee, people who communicate with pieces of string, pornography, corporate intrigue, um—
Q. Did you say “pornography”? So Takeover is a pornographic novel? I always knew that Goffman was—-
A. NO! Nonono. The BOOK isn’t pornographic. Stop trying to put words in my mouth. There are just some scenes, well, sort of, ABOUT pornography, not pornography itself.
Q. And what’s this about string?
A. Okay. You know what? These aren’t frequently asked questions. For everything else, you’re just going to have to read the book.
Q. Will there be porn in the movie of the book?
A. No! I mean… How do I know? There could be. But… No! And there’s no movie deal yet anyway.
Q. Are you sure? That’s not what I heard.
A. What have you heard?
Q. Sorry. Can’t tell. Lips are sealed.
A. Fine. No more questions for you then.
A. Read the book.
Q. Which book?
A. Takeover, that’s what we’ve been talking about! You know what? Just skip it.
Q. Can I just—
A. No. I’m done.
NEW, SATIRICAL NOVEL! NEW AUTHOR! NEW BLOG POST!
- migrated my old blog into this more full-service website.
- had some readings and appearances at the Jersey shore and elsewhere
- asked my publisher, 99%BOOKS, to add another name to their
stable (pantheon?) of authors: Gino Bardi. More about Gino later.
But most importantly to me and I hope you is I FINISHED WRITING, EDITING AND REVISING MY NEW BOOK: TAKEOVER. Then Leibo, my friend/art director, designed a fabulous new cover for it, like he always does. And 99%BOOKS HAS PUBLISHED IT!!! As of today, Sunday, Mother’s Day, May 8, they are expecting a large shipment of the books to the warehouse ANY DAY. MAYBE TOMORROW.
Check the EVENTS page for more about the annual Red Bank Guinness Oyster Festival on Sunday, September 27.
On Friday evening, October 2, at 7:00pm, The Atlantic Highlands Arts Council will present the next event in its “Artists and Authors” series. Richard Goffman, author of the highly acclaimed Jersey shore thrillers HEARTLESS CRUELTY and LAID SO LOW, will read from his books, speak about the writing process, answer questions and sign copies. The evening is open to the public. Light snacks and beverages will be served. Admission is $10.
I hope you’ll come out for this event. I think it’ll be a lot of fun, it’s bound to be interesting, and I’m certain you’ll see a lot of old friends there, and maybe even some new ones. Also, rumor has it that the speaker will be buying the first round of drinks afterward at a nearby tavern.
Please go to the EVENTS page for details and links. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Click here to hear the interview I did on Wednesday evening. It turned out that we had so much to talk about, the host, Andrea Ruderman Tarr, asked me to come back and do another half hour show. I’ll keep everyone posted about when that’s happening.